Bad words at work are SO good.
Thursday, November 1, 2007 at 1:00AM There’s proof! Swearing at work can be a-ok. Check it out: What the bleep? Swearing at work can inspire teamwork.
Which is a damn good thing for me, because when I get excited, I get a terrible potty mouth (or, now that I’m all validated and shit, I should say a ‘fabulous potty mouth.’) I love this study (and the conclusions) because it’s so great that:
- They did the study at all. I mean really. Would YOU have thought of it? Gotta love the Brits.
- They found what they did—that swearing can actually humanize a workplace.
Now, granted, you don’t want to swear around customers. But being able to be yourself at work with your colleagues (and, for example, use words that you use at home) makes tons of sense. Work really should be fun, shouldn’t it? And we’re all adults here, aren’t we?
Case in point: when I was interviewing at a certain very gigantic online retailer that starts with ama and ends with zon, I dropped the F-bomb. I had NO idea I had done this until around a month into my illustrious career there. Interviews have ‘loops’ there, so you talk to around 5 people. One of them is from another group. And, when I talked to this guy (you know who you are, B.L.) I must have gotten excited about something and said something like “bad web design drives me fucking nuts!” or “I’m so fucking psyched to work on stuff that lots of people use!” or “I mean, it’s fucking exciting that people are starting to think about CUSTOMERS!”
Something innocuous. Nothing like “you, my friend, are a fucking dork.” (which he isn't.)
SO, after the interview loop, there’s a ‘debrief.’ (talk about dirty words! It’s hilarious to me that people selectively ignore totally silly words like ‘debrief.’ I always think of a bunch of people getting in a room and dropping trou when I hear this word. But then we all know that I seem to be unusually focused on underpants, especially at work). Everyone got together, apparently, and raved about how marvelous I am. Then, B.L. said “uh, well, she dropped the F-bomb during our interview.”
Silence.
In unison from everyone else in the room, including the VP who would become my exceptionally tolerant boss, but excepting the ubiquitous HR rep, said: “So?”
And so I was hired. When I heard this story, I told B.L. I knew what went on in the debrief (debrief! tee hee!). Forever after, I looked forward to seeing him in the halls. It would go like this:
- Me: Hey! How the fuck are ya?
- B.L.: Good! How the fuck are you?!
See? The terrible F-bomb helped establish a great camaraderie between me and the manager of a whole different team.
More recently: I was doing a workshop with a new client. They are actually the client of a client, and their offices are in the south, and I kept telling myself that I need to watch my mouth. Usually, with new clients, I warn them that I have been known to drop the f-bomb when jazzed about something. For example:
- “wouldn’t that be fucking COOL?”
- “If I hear one more person say they need more web 2.0 on their site, I'm going to go fucking postal”
- “uh, how fucking DUMB is that site?”
(The latter only in reference to a competitor’s site, of course).
When I’ve had prep conversations with the client, I can almost always get a sense of whether my ‘casual tone’ will be ok. And, without fail, it HAS been ok (except for twice: a government agency and a group of university administrative types. Interesting, no?). But I didn’t know in this case.
Well, turns out this client was just as human as all the others. So much so, in fact, that by the end of the workshop we were cruising through some expletive-ridden reviews of competitors’ sites (very well-deserved) and getting a lot done.
And then, for some random reason (and it will make sense appropos to this stuff in a second), the movie ‘Signs’ was mentioned. Something like ‘wow, man, that was a SCARY movie!’ and I said ‘yeah, scary for lots of reasons. Mel Gibson, I tell ya. We chosen people do NOT approve.’ (For those who don't know, "the chosen people" is one way we Jewish people sometime refer to ourselves, tongue firmly in cheek.)
Uh oh! Religion! I followed this by blurting out something totally inappropriate:
You can say fuck at work, but you can’t mention Jesus. Politics are a total no-no. However, I’m allowed to make reference to Jewish stuff.
You know what? That is TOTALLY TRUE. Everyone agreed. Think about it. I don’t have anything witty and insightful to say about this, beyond the fact that it’s interesting. Even I’M very very careful about any mention of anything religious. That’s right. EVEN ME. I weaned myself away from saying things like “jeee-sus BIRD.” (not so offensive I imagine due to sheer ridiculosity. It’s a favorite I got from my dad and use heavily in non-work life. It’s very satisfying. You should try it.)
Always OK:
- Arrggghhh.
- D’oh
- Shizzle (a la Emily H)
- Rats! (another personal favorite)
- Crap!
- Poppycock!
- Flapdoodle! (thanks for those last three, Sonia--from whom, by the by, I've heard MUCH worse, and at significant volumes)
- Cattywompus (as in, that design is totally cattywompus)
- Any brand name that sounds like it could mean something swearish, like "Frappuccino!"
- Bonkers
Always ok (and a damn good reason to get less anal about swearing, so that we don’t sound like geeky uptight kindergarten teachers):
- Darn
- Oh fudge
- Sugar
- Heavens to Betsy!
- My stars and garters!
Generally ok:
- Damn
- Jesus (let's face it. this has become embedded in our language in a non-religious way)
- Shit (with furtive look around room to make sure no one clenches)
Often, one discovers, ok:
- Fuck!
Never really ok:
- Jesus Christ!
- I’m a republican! (this one is geographically specific, but definitely relevant in Seattle).
- I'm a democrat! (in other places, I can only assume.) (SEE? even in a BLOG this starts to get queasy!)
- Shut UP! (it’s a late-breaking one but totally true. Sonia, of see-above fame, pointed this out. You just can NOT say Shut up at work. And I think she’s right, for the very same reason I think we should be able to swear at work. Swearing isn’t really the problem. The problem is finding effective ways to communicate with each other.
Favorites still include:
- Fuck a duck.
- Fuck ME. (not as a directive. As a statement of annoyance.)
- And, of course, my trademark “Bite Me.” Which my longer-term, know-me-very-well clients will surely recognize.
Wow. This should do interesting things to my search engine rankings, no?
all things fabulous
Reader Comments (7)
By Ken Seiff on November 1st, 2007 at 6:45 pm
I’d say you have too much damn time on your hands, but clearly it would be a gl(ass) house thing since i’m f-ing off writing a comment on a blog.
By Rob Lightner on November 2nd, 2007 at 4:46 am
Well, it didn’t take me too long to find your fucking blog. I suppose I should be clearer: your fucking awesome blog.
By Mila G on November 2nd, 2007 at 11:20 pm
F-Bombs all around!
By Raina Brody on November 3rd, 2007 at 11:20 am
So… what of my tried and true usability method, the “Come To Jesus” study? You know, the one you run when you’ve told your stakeholders that their weird idea won’t work, you discuss it with them until you’re blue in the face and they still won’t believe you, so you run a study so the users themselves can help your executives “find religion?” Is that off limits as well? The term sure gives my manager the heeby-jeebies… but I still think it’s funny. Fucking hilarious article, by the by.
By Jennifer J on December 7th, 2007 at 1:47 am
My two personal favorites which I’m found using quite a bit in the office include:
What the fucking fuck?
and
This is one giant cluster-fuck!
By Brenton on December 18th, 2007 at 1:02 pm
“Cluster-fuck!” Ya! I love that one. I’m also partial to “Fuck-tard,” and just about any flub-up from Roman Moronie in the movie Johnny Dangerously (e.g. Bastage, Sem-in-a Bastage, Ice-hole, Farg, Farging Bastage, and Cork-sucker).
I could see religion being taboo. But, I have used, “Why won’t you work for Jesus?,” when faced with a very unresponsive computer or interface that almost always gets a laugh.
By J. Ambrose Little on January 14th, 2008 at 9:08 pm
“Jesus (let’s face it. this has become embedded in our language in a non-religious way)”
Well, because “Jesus” *is* a religious thing for me (and many, many others), I’d suggest folks avoid using his name flippantly. We Christians (and Jews) have this long-standing belief/tradition in hallowing God’s name–as in it is like one of the top 10 things we’re to do. And because, for Christians, Jesus is God, well, I trust you can connect the dots.
Blessed be God, blessed be his holy name.
Out of courtesy, please reconsider your thinking on this point.